This is a guest post from Rachael Hawksworth.
Hi. My name is Rachael, I have a full and fun social life, a fantastic job and crippling high functioning anxiety.
Since I was a little girl I have been very talkative. I've been described as HAPPY, talkative, bubbly and enthusiastic my whole life. I attended drama school, studied dance and put myself out there to help anyone out, with anything. Anyone meeting me would describe me as confident, outgoing and friendly.
However I viewed myself as annoying. Loud, rude, in your face too much. Convinced that I talk too much, to much about myself or don't talk enough! I have a terrible habit of trying to please everyone and keep everyone happy from fear of them disliking me or not wanting to be my friend. Because I have believed for so long that no one would actually want to be friends with me, it must be because of things I do for them. Or, even worse, that if I do anything wrong then they’ll realise they don’t actually like me!
Underneath all this self doubt, I was desperately sad. But everyone always told me I was happy? Super positive!? I found myself convincing myself I was ok because everyone saw me that way.
I only realised when I was 28 that torturing myself this way wasn’t just how I was, it was anxiety. It took YEARS for me to accept and ask for help. Mainly because I didn’t realise what anxiety really looked like, the emotional and the physical symptoms are what caught me off guard. I always thought of anxiety as a strong anxious feeling! But its so much more.
I knew I had a problem for a while. I’d find myself rocking back and forth with my head in my hands, trying to soothe myself. Working in a busy, customer facing management role in hospitality, managing 3 teams of 120 people total and yet I couldn’t bring myself to leave the house sometimes, crippled with social anxiety and a feeling of severe dread for no apparent reason. I’d be going to parties with friends one weekend, then the next I’d barely be able to get my words out, stuttering and uncontrollable overthinking.
I did nothing about it. I didn’t seek help, I ignored it. Made all the typical excuses...
‘I talk to hundreds of staff and customers every week, I host parties at work and am always putting myself out there... how could I be ‘Anxious’’
I'm so confident... I can’t have anxiety? I felt GUILTY for even thinking that I could have anxiety... like I was belittling others who REALLY suffered with anxiety by comparing myself with them.
The reason I am sharing this with you and the rest of the internet is because there are bound to be hundreds, even thousands of people out there who are suffering in silence. Battling with themselves and unable to admit there is anything wrong. Could be you, could be someone you care about...
Everyone’s experience of anxiety disorders is different. Not everyone who has an anxiety disorder will experience the same symptoms.
Mental symptoms of anxiety can include:
- racing thoughts,
- uncontrollable over-thinking,
- difficulties concentrating,
- feelings of dread, panic or ‘impending doom’,
- feeling irritable,
- heightened alertness,
- problems with sleep,
- changes in appetite,
- wanting to escape from the situation you are in, and
- dissociation.
If you dissociate you might feel like you are not connected to your own body. Or like you are watching things happen around you, without feeling it.
Physical symptoms of anxiety can include:
- sweating,
- heavy and fast breathing,
- hot flushes or blushing,
- dry mouth,
- shaking,
- hair loss,
- fast heartbeat,
- extreme tiredness or lack of energy
- dizziness and fainting, and
- stomach aches and sickness.
What is High Functioning Anxiety?
If you feel like this is you, then I hope you might feel a sense of relief. Like you finally have permission to accept that you are struggling! Your feelings are validated and your not just ‘broken’ or ‘crazy’ - BOTH things I told myself for YEARS.
Human beings are not perfect, no one of us is! You don’t have to try to be. You can seem like a social butterfly and still suffer from a inability to even leave the house some days.
What to do if you recognise the symptoms of High Functioning Anxiety in yourself...
- Reach out for help!
It is not weak to ask for help, its the strongest thing you can do. Family, friends, loved ones who you can trust are great ones to reach out too but there are also lots of websites and organisations that you can speak too for advice.
Anxiety UK
Charity providing support if you have been diagnosed with an anxiety condition.
Phone: 03444 775 774 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 5.30pm)
Website: www.anxietyuk.org.uk
CALM
CALM is the Campaign Against Living Miserably. A charity providing a mental health helpline and webchat.
Phone: 0800 58 58 58 (daily, 5pm to midnight)
Website: www.thecalmzone.net
Men's Health Forum
24/7 stress support for men by text, chat and email.
Website: www.menshealthforum.org.uk
Mental Health Foundation
Provides information and support for anyone with mental health problems or learning disabilities.
Website: www.mentalhealth.org.uk
Mind
Promotes the views and needs of people with mental health problems.
Phone: 0300 123 3393 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm)
Website: www.mind.org.uk
Rethink Mental Illness
Support and advice for people living with mental illness.
Phone: 0300 5000 927 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4pm)
Website: www.rethink.org
- Recognise and address symptoms as they come up. There are plenty of grounding techniques and mindfulness & breathing exercises to do.
- Start journaling!
There is a journal for everything nowadays - productivity journals, daily, weekly or monthly journals, mindfulness journals... anything that you could want or need to track and plan - THERES A JOURNAL OR PLANNER FOR IT! Feeling organised and physically writing down your thoughts and ideas helps ease anxiety symptoms SO much.
Often times your heads a mess with over thinking and your not able to focus... writing everything down, getting it out of your head and into physical form means you can make sense of it all.
- Speak to your doctor and consider counselling
Anti-depressants and anti anxiety medication has had this stigma around it for so long, its very annoying!! If you had a illness in your body and you need help, you go to your doctor no they prescribe medicine. This includes your mental health! Your doctor will go over all your options, they are highly trained in dealing with mental health and can advise you in any way you need. Plus they can refer you to local mental health organisations and even for counselling.
If you know someone who has High Functioning Anxiety or you think might have then speak to them about it. Be gentle and kind, understand that they may not be ready to talk about it but showing them that you are there to listen when they are ready to talk will make the biggest difference!
Most of the time someone with a anxiety disorder really needs to just talk, they need someone who will listen to them and let them vent and feel what they are feeling! It’s easy to try to say things which you THINK are helpful but that’s really not...
Things NOT to say to someone who is suffering from a anxiety disorder...
‘’It could be worse, other people have it way worse than you’’
‘’Cheer up’’
‘’You’ll be fine, you’ll get over it’’
‘’But your so happy, are you sure its anxiety and your not just being dramatic?’’
What may not seem like much on the outside, could be significantly effecting someone on the inside. No doubt the person who is opening up to you about their anxiety disorder, already has been telling themselves all of the above! The fact they feel comfortable speaking to you about it and opening up is a HUGE step.
SANE Provides emotional support, information and guidance for people affected by mental illness, their families and carers.
Textcare: comfort and care via text message, sent when the person needs it most: www.sane.org.uk/textcare
Peer support forum: www.sane.org.uk/supportforum
Website: www.sane.org.uk/support
YoungMinds provide information on child and adolescent mental health. Services for parents and professionals.
Parents' helpline 0808 802 5544
AD - This post features my monthly advertisers. If you are interested in advertising with me then please contact me or find out more information on my advertise with me page.
Welcome to my March Advertisers post. In this post, I will be sharing with you all of the blogs that you need to check out this month.
Posts you need to check out from Sarah
Start by checking out these posts
Amy's posts you need to see
Here are some posts you should check out:
Start by checking out these posts:
Here are some posts from Our Favourite Jar to check out
This post contains affiliate links, meaning if you purchase a product through my links I will receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.
I am graduating university this year, probably at the worst time for jobs with the pandemic so I may be freaking out a little bit. However, I am determined to get a job after I finish so I have been trying to find ways to enhance my CV and LinkedIn profiles to try to make me stand out a little more. I thought I'd share ways I try to enhance my CV with you as I know a lot of other students and graduates will probably be in the same boat as me. It's more competitive now for graduate jobs than ever before so we are going to need to find ways to boost our employability and experience (I say we because we are in this together).
So here are some tips on what I have done, plan to do or what I think would help you enhance your CV and make you more employable.
Top tips on enhancing your CV
1. Gain as much experience as you can
2. Volunteer
3. Start a blog
4. Attend Webinars
5. Complete online courses
Related: 3 tips for staying creative
6. Enhance the layout of your CV
7. Use LinkedIn
Related: What now? A life after graduation
Join my mailing list for exclusive content and resources here
This is a guest post from Merry at Monodreame.
Sundays are usually a day of rest and relaxation, right? I usually go somewhere with my friend but now, during the pandemic, I just stay at home and spend the day with family, my adorable dogs, and be productive to welcome the new week. So now I will share with you what things to do on Sunday for the best week.
Photo credit: Jelena Mirkovic.
I know some people suffer from Sunday night blues (yeah me too). The feeling that we have to go work or for now, working from home on Monday and get the whole routine of getting the children ready for school, etc. It is essential to start your week well and it is important to create a Sunday routine to start your week off on the right foot.
I don’t want to overwhelm you! In fact, you don't have to do all of this, you can pick and choose which one works for you. I find that planning my week makes me feel my best, especially come Monday. Since I started working at home, I don't even hate Mondays anymore.
Everything is a lot easier to deal with when you spend your weekend being productive. Trust me, with all these things to do on Sunday, you are setting yourself up for a very productive and successful week.
Plan Your Week
Starting in the beginning of 2020, I am always planning my monthly, weekly, and daily tasks. This has been life-changing for me. I’ve been struggling to keep on track with everything I accomplished.
This usually takes me about an hour. It’s kinda fun to plan your week. I psychically write in a planner and make it pretty.
Some people might find it stressful, but knowing what I have to do for the week let’s me enjoy the rest of my Sunday without that anxiety of what Monday brings. This is where I list my priorities first, then fill in the rest next.
Schedule Workouts
This goes back to planning your week, but don’t forget this part!
Some people that I know like to go to the gym - so if you’re one of gym lover, book any classes!
I’m not a fan of heavy workout, instead I like to run at the nearby park, do light exercise at home, make some walk dates with friends, and put them in your calendar or planner.
Plan Your Meals
When planning your weekly task, you can also plan out your meals so it’s one less thing to think about. It’s ABSOLUTELY AMAZING living out a week of this, too. Check if you have any events out of the house and then plan on cooking around that. Then, make that grocery list and go to the store.
Go to the Grocery
I find that weekends, especially Sundays are a great time to go to the store.
Honestly, it’s because on Sunday I will have a lot of time to spend outside rather than weekdays.
Declutter
Spend 30 minutes or an hour decluttering your space - your home, office, car, life.
Will you be able to clean your workspace? Organize your stationery or makeup tools? Put laundry away? Do a wipe down of your house or at least your bedroom? Do it!
Clean Out Your Fridge
If you go through your fridge once a week, it saves it from becoming a hot mess. I toss anything I didn’t eat or use and do a little wipe down if I’m feeling really productive. If you need to do a full clean out, by the way, start here.
Do Laundry
After decluttering and cleaning your fridge, you can also do your laundry.
There’s nothing worse than waking up on Monday then realizing you have nothing clean to wear! Or waiting until like Friday night to do it all and then staring at a huge pile of clean laundry waiting for you after work. Right? So just do it Sunday.
Self-care
Sundays are a great day for a little self-care at home, and what I mean by that is a bath + face mask combo which is the BEST.
You could also get a mani/pedi, read your favorite books, or whatever feels like taking care of yourself. Here are some self-care products that I know you’ll LOVE!
Relax + Rest + Restore
Spend some time relaxing. You can take a nap, stretch, or hang with your family/friends. Do something that RESTORES your mind, body or soul. I usually go to church and watch a movie or go for a long walk and kinda incorporate it throughout my day, but especially in the evening.
Additionally, it’s rainy days and there are a lot of fun things you can do on rainy or even snow days at home!
Go to bed early
The best piece of advice I can give – set yourself up for a good week with a good night’s sleep! This article can help if you aren’t the best sleeper.
Anything else y’all do on Sundays to plan for your week? I’d love to hear!
Author Bio
Merry Sari is a blogger and content writer who shares tips, tricks, and advice about blogging, self-care, and lifestyle on her blog, “Monodreame.” You will find her informative contents to help bloggers build and grow their blogs. Find more about her on Twitter and Instagram.
Social Icons