Showing posts with label The Low Down. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Low Down. Show all posts

THE STRUGGLES OF BLOGGING IN 2022: THE LOW DOWN

Saturday

Does anyone actually read blogs anymore? Well, you are reading this right now, so the answer must be yes but the truth is, it can be difficult to get people to read your blog.


I have heard a lot of people saying that nobody reads blogs anymore, even Amira from Gogglebox said it in an episode not too long ago.


My opinion on blogging is still a big thing is mixed. However, I do love writing my blog posts so either way, I am going to keep writing them.


Laptop at desk next to plant


The rise of video content


For me, it feels like a lot of people get their entertainment on social media through watching videos on TikTok and Instagram reels at the moment rather than reading through a whole blog post.


I really like making video content as well as writing my blogs, so I have been doing both to stay relevant online and to just make things that I enjoy making. 


If you are a blogger who struggles with reader numbers but want to make a big impression online, I do think video content like this can reach a lot of new people organically.


I feel like with blogging, you have to put a LOT of effort into making it SEO friendly so that people can find your blogs through searching on Google. Also, a lot of my readership comes from sharing my blog posts on social media anyway.


Advantages of blogging


There are a lot of bloggers out there that are really successful at the moment and I think a lot of people don't realise the success you can make for yourself blogging.


Some bloggers I follow, have left full-time jobs to pursue blogging, and they can make thousands a month by doing freelance blog work. Paid opportunities include paid blog posts, affiliate marketing (which is adding links to your blog and getting a commission whenever anyone purchases something through your link), creating digital products to sell, and many more.


Although people may come to the conclusion that people don't read blogs anymore, the ways to make money online are definitely on the rise, so for this reason I would say blogging is still very much a thing.


Don't give up


If you are an avid blogger and love doing it - don't give up! I have to admit, since the world has started opening up more since Covid, I have been getting a lot fewer reads on my blog. I am not taking this as a negative though because I would much rather everyone be able to go out and do stuff than being stuck in reading my blog!


This also makes me more appreciative of the readership I have now, and even though the reads on my blog posts have declined a little, I am still getting exciting opportunities and growing my social media following.


My advice would definitely be to stay current and keep up to date with new platforms that come your way, but if you really enjoy doing something, there is no need to stop just because there are new things coming.


What are your thoughts on blogging in 2022?

MAKING FRIENDS AS AN ADULT: THE LOW DOWN

Sunday

Welcome to another post in my The Low Down series, where I give you the Low Down on important stuff.

I don't know about you but I feel like it seems to be harder to make friends as an adult. When you're at school or university, you kind of make friends with the people you see every day because you are all put into a situation together.


Since leaving uni, I have made a few new friends but it is a very different process. My friends from uni or childhood, I don't even remember how I made friends with them, we just have a friendship. So when I think of making new friends it's a bit more difficult.


Having said that, I feel like people as adults are way more accepting and open to new friendships, whereas school kids are kind of mean and form cliques. 


The girls having fun

Tips for making friends as an adult


1. Network online


Through blogging and Instagram, I have met some really great people. You can find people who you have a lot in common with and it is a lot easier to approach people online too.


Obviously, making friends online can be dangerous with catfishing etc, so please be careful in doing this.


In Salisbury, there is a group called the Salisbury Social on Instagram where anyone is welcome to join social events including book clubs, drinks and more. Groups like this are great if you have moved to a new area and you want to make new friends because you're all in the same boat. 


Does your city have a group like this? If not, why not start one?

Related: Friendships: The Low Down

2. Put yourself out there


This is such a cringe piece of advice that I hear all the time but it's true. In order to make new friends as an adult, you really do need to be confident enough to put yourself out there and reach out to people. This can be really daunting, but the more you do it, the easier it will become.

Ask your work colleagues if they want to meet up after work, message people online to meet (safely of course) just do it without worrying too much.

A lot of people have a fear of rejection, but the only way to get over that fear is to face it head-on and think, what is the worst that can happen if someone doesn't want to meet up with me or be friends with me?

If that does happen and you do end up being ghosted or rejected, then that is just a sign that you aren't meant to be friends with that person and they probably aren't worth your time.

3. Don't be desperate


Not trying to be savage with this one, what I really mean is evaluate the reason you are looking for friends. Be careful and selective with who you choose to be friends with because it's important to surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself, rather than making friends for the sake of it.

I guess I'm just saying make sure you make friends that make you happy and if you end up meeting people who don't that's ok. The only way to find out if you will like someone or not is to actually get to know them first.

You may find that you have tried to become friends with someone and they have completely different views to you, or maybe they don't make you feel quite as good about yourself as they should. It doesn't mean you are stuck there.

As difficult as it can be to make friends as an adult sometimes, it's definitely way easier to lose them too (if you feel you need to).

At this age, I'm definitely way more selective about who I spend my time with. Especially because I am so busy with work and everything now, my free time is very precious and I usually try to spend it wisely with people who make me feel good.
How have you found making friends as an adult?

BEING IN YOUR 20s: THE LOW DOWN

Saturday

Welcome to another post in my 'The Low Down' series where I chat about important things. You can read the other posts in the series here.

What is it really like for me being in my 20s? 


Girl holding cocktail in turtle bay

What is it really like to be in your 20s? So far, I feel like it is THE decade of comparison. When you're a teenager, you do compare yourself to others but everyone is kind of in the same boat at school or college.


For me, after finishing uni was when the feeling of comparison really started. I compare my job to those of other graduates and I compare my life to those who appear to be way more 'adult' than I do. 


In the back of my mind, I know it is irrational to compare myself to others as we are all on different paths and want different things in life, and when I don't compare myself to others, I am pretty happy with how things have turned out for me so far.


When you imagine being in your 20s when you're younger, what you think it's going to be like and what it is like are two very different things, and this is touched upon further in the post too.


Girls in their 20s in bournemouth


I didn't only want to share my thoughts in this post, but I wanted to share what it is also like for other people I know in their 20s too.


It was especially weird for me to spend the first couple of years of my 20s in the middle of a pandemic, it felt like there was pressure to go out and have fun, meanwhile, we couldn't do anything like that for a long while.


Not being able to do so many things that I wanted to do has just made me eager to make more memories, and makes me cherish the memories I already have. I am not going to stress too much about things because I feel like I have the rest of my life for things like that.


It does feel weird seeing people my age all at such different stages of their lives but their lives really have nothing to do with me. I feel like this new chapter in my life is for self-love, focusing on what I love doing and making lasting memories with the people who mean the most to me. Everything else will fall into place when it needs to.


Now, please take the time to read what it has been like for my friends in their 20s so far.


What is it like for others in their 20s?


Cheyenne Waters, 22


Girl with drink in hand

When I thought about starting my career in my 20s, I thought it would be easy. I thought things would be an easy relaxation into my future, but I soon found out that's not the case. There are lots of ups and downs and feeling like you're not doing enough or maybe doing too much, mixed with a constant fear that you're not living your 20s and enjoying being young.


For me, there was a constant fear after leaving university that I would need to be the most successful, making the most money, and achieving the most exciting job roles. However, I have found what I actually value most at the moment is my own time and finding myself in a busy city. 


I have found that sometimes, I prioritise my career over my own personal development and finding balance between the two is very important. I believe that my 20s is a time for self-expression and finding what you need in the future, and my advice would be to live in the moment rather than to focus too much on the future and your career as that is not the be all and end all.

Related: My journey to confidence - the low down

Maike Meyer, 24


Girl stood in front of the sea

Being in your twenties is a bit of a rollercoaster. The start of my twenties I spent mostly at Uni, a year in Amsterdam and half a year as a graduate working from home. I have lived in 3 different countries and 4 different places in the past half-year alone and that speaks for itself I think. Your twenties are full of change. New things happen all the time, things that throw you off guard. 


People come and go and I think in your twenties, you really figure out and learn who your real friends are because, let's be honest, University is just a happy little bubble but what comes after actually makes you realise who wants to stay in your life and who doesn't. 


My 20s have also consisted of a lot of my friends either going through breakups, getting engaged, married or having kids! Some even buy a house, move in with their partner, or out. But it seem's that change is constantly happening to me and everyone around me. 


So far, my 20s have taught me a lot, I have also experienced a lot, been through a lot of challenges and somehow, come through some of the most difficult ones of them. I think your 20s really might potentially have a massive impact on who you are later because of all this new stuff that is thrown at you.


But honestly, my 20s so far have been the very best time of my life and I'd say you just have to ride with whatever happens because it's all meant to be!


Maddie Cox, 23


Girl in green dress holding drink in london

I'm coming dangerously close to being officially in my 'mid 20s', which is a terrifying thought. Your 20s are such a significant chunk of your development. Your early adulthood molds you, pointing you toward the direction of your life.


Each year of being in my 20s has taught me something different, and some of the lessons can unfortunately only be learned the hard way (the crying to strangers in club toilets type of lessons). At times, it's been nauseatingly overwhelming. New people, places, losses, and gains happening more rapidly than you could've believed. But at other times, it's been the closest I have felt to being alive, present, and content within the world.


The only encouragement I could give someone heading into their 20s is to try and squeeze as much out of it as you possibly can. Take that risk, wear that outfit, move far away, do something stupid, stay up too late. Whatever it is, try and avoid being 'comfortable'. Comfort is the enemy of growth.


You have all the time in the world to stay in one place and be comfortable. Be selfish, think about what you want, and chase it with everything you have. At times it'll be scary, but it will be the most rewarding thing you ever do. - Good luck out there x


Annie Knight, 24


Girl with blonde hair in room

I feel like your 20’s are different for everyone, but are always a mix of some of the best years of your life and the worst. When I was little, I used to picture myself getting married at 22, buying a house at 24, and having kids at 25… obviously I thought 20-year-olds were much older than I feel now. In fact, I’m extremely far off of all of those things whilst others are less so.


My early twenties were full of youth, but now at 24, I feel stuck between continuing this life and embracing my youth in a big city and settling down in the countryside with a dog and a 4 wheel drive. I don’t think either is right or wrong, but navigating through this time is pretty tricky. But maybe that’s what being in your mid-20s is about - being confused and becoming ok with not knowing what you want from life…finding excitement in not knowing what the future holds.

Related: Friendships: The low down

Tash Evans, 22


Girl in front of neon sign


I think being in your 20s can be a strange and confusing period of time but also one that should be filled with fun. I need to both figure out what to do with the rest of my life and give myself the time to actually just live my life and have fun. 


Having just graduated from university, there is pressure to know exactly what your next step is going to be. However, right now I'm taking the time to see where life takes me and really think about what I want to do next. A big thing for me is I want to have fun and try new things and experiences whilst I can. 


Your 20s is often a time where you don't have a huge level of responsibility and commitment and I want to make the most of that. I think my 20s will be a decade of balance. Learning and discovering myself and which direction I want my life to go in and I also want to look back on them as a time where I had fun and made a load of memories!


Tash's blog - A Girl With a View


Jasmine Burke, 24


Jasmine Burke at brunch

I have always been a planner. I had a five-year plan from the age of about 15, and I would readjust it every few years based on my current trajectory. Then, I started University, and it took one singular semester for me to realise that I didn’t want a life like anything I’d planned. As a result, my descent into my twenties was the first time in my life that I had jumped in without any idea of where it would take me. (Which, given the last two years we’ve had, I suppose has been a good thing… There’s really been no better time to go with the flow.) 


I’m now four years into my twenties and it has been a strange and heavy mixture of tears from lonely moments, stress from essay deadlines, coffee stains from my stint as a part-time barista… The list goes on. 


The first four years of my twenties have blended into this weird mess of (admittedly, mostly negative at the beginning) thoughts and emotions that have forced me to really take a look at myself and think about who I am going to be moving forward. This is the first time in my life where I have been a “proper adult” where my decisions and my current state could stick with me into the future. 


I don’t have school anymore, I’m out of Uni, and while I still live with my parents, they aren’t legally in charge of me. For the first time ever, I am almost solely responsible for what I do and who I become. And, daunting as that is, it is also scarily liberating. I’m excited to see how I mould and change through my twenties: I want to relish in the decisions that I make and be sculpted by the people I meet and experiences I undertake. I feel like my twenties are a time for growth and change, and I am readily opening my arms to that.


Jasmine's Blog - Jas Writes Stuff


And there we have it. Being in your 20s is definitely a time for learning, making mistakes and just having fun.

Related: Being a nice person - the low down

Was there a particular story from someone that resonated with you?

SOCIAL MEDIA DOESN'T HAVE TO BE NEGATIVE: THE LOW DOWN

Welcome to another post in my The Low Down series, where I give you the low down on important stuff.


When social media first became a thing, it was a great way to keep in touch with friends and family. Over the years, it has developed so much that there are so many different functions and reasons to use social media. I work as a social media coordinator, so I find that I am always using it as I use it for business, but also in my free time.


Iphone with social media apps on screen

Negativity in social media


As we know, as well as being a great marketing tool and a way to keep in touch with friends, or even stay up to date with your favourite celebrities, it can also be a toxic place.


It's so easy to let social media rule your life and compare your life to the perfect lives of others, or compare the way you look to the heavily edited Instagram pictures. We have all looked at pictures and thought I really wish I had their life, right? I get it so bad with travel photos or just any boujee photos in general, I'm like I wish I was doing that right now.


But we need to remember, people only tend to share their best moments on social media. It's so easy to take it as fact and think wow that person's life is so good - why isn't mine like that? The truth is, they are probably only sharing their highlights with you.


Tips for creators


If you are a creator, the best way to exude positivity in your posts is to sometimes be a bit negative - if that makes sense. The more real you are on your platform, the more people are going to relate to you. If you share real-life things that maybe aren't highlights, this will help remind your audience that social media creators are real people.

Related: Toxic positivity: the low down

My favourite creators on Instagram, are the ones who are just honest and real. Or, it's ones who use their platform to try and normalise things that the media usually tries to push out such as larger body types and disabilities.


Tips for social media users


For anyone using social media, even if you are just scrolling, you will need to take care of what you are doing. When you are mindlessly scrolling, you are not in control of what you are taking in. You may not think anything of it, but all that you are taking in while scrolling could subconsciously be damaging.


You need to set boundaries and remember that using social media is ok in moderation. Moderate what you are looking at and try to only look at things that make you happy.


Unfollow Unfollow Unfollow


If there are accounts that make you feel negative, even if they don't mean to, you are within your rights to unfollow these people. For example, if someone is posting positive highlights about their life and it starts making you feel bad about your own life, unfollow.


You don't owe these people, even if you know them personally, you are free to pick and choose who you follow to make using social media a positive experience for you.

Related: My journey to confidence: the low down

What measures do you put into place to ensure you have a better experience on social media?

MY JOURNEY TO CONFIDENCE: THE LOW DOWN

Welcome to another post in my The Low Down series, where I basically just chat about important stuff and well, give you the low down.


In this blog post, I'm going to be talking about why confidence is so important, my journey and tips for you to become more confident. It's not easy and I wouldn't even say I'm a confident person, but I guess I just give less of a shit now what other people think of me.


This is so cliche and basically said all the time but life is too short! One day you might die (ok you will just trying not to be too morbid) and if you were to watch your life back at the end of it - you would wish that you just did the things you wanted to do, wore what you wanted to wear and were the person you wanted to be without caring what others think of you.


girl in bedroom with shein sunglasses


Why you need to work on your confidence


For me, I really think confidence would be the answer to all of my problems. You need it for job interviews, relationships, friendships, and loads of other reasons. I am someone who worries and gets nervous about absolutely everything so it comes a lot less naturally to me. This is why I have to work hard at stepping out of my comfort zone.


We feel comfortable around confident people and they are always easy to make friends with because they put themselves out there. However, if you're a worrier like me it can be really difficult, and you might be reading this like yeah right, like I could ever be confident? But you can, firstly you have to try and see what you can do about the things you worry about most.


It's easy for me to say stop caring what people think of you, but that would mean unlearning so many taught behaviours.


Why confidence doesn't come naturally to so many of us


The reason so many of us lack confidence and try to please others is because we are culturally taught that we need to. Through advertising, we are told we need new makeup to change the way we look and cover our "flaws". Have you ever thought, would I even notice this flaw if the media hadn't pointed it out to me? 

This society obsesses over thin bodies and marginalises curvy people. Body types, skin colour, who you love, the gender you identify as, nationalities, disabilities, age - these are all compartments of your identity yet some are more "accepted" than others.

Also, how often do you compare yourself to the people you see online or on TV? Do you ever wish you were them? We are so used to a certain way of looking and acting in our society that you kind of may not want to be any different at the risk of being too noticeable or worrying about how people will perceive you. This is all wrong! We should celebrate our differences and just not worry about what anyone else will think.

If there are people in your life who will change their opinion of you if you start being yourself then I'm sorry, but fuck them! It's time we start learning this at a young age I think. I am 22 and know I have a long way to go before feeling fully confident. But at school, I'd mostly just try to fit in and stay under the radar and pretend to like things I didn't so that people wouldn't think I'm weird. This is wrong again, and I do think younger generations are definitely getting better when it comes to accepting other people.

It's especially hard for marginalised people to be who they truly are. For example, in a society that's values are based on heteronormativity, it can be so difficult for LGBTQ+ people to come out, and be unapologetically themselves. In a world where they can be violently attacked for who they love. 

I could talk about so many things, but basically, the world we live in makes it really difficult for us to be confident in who we are. This is why we all have to actively step up and really try to take charge of our own identities. For the sake of our own mental health, but also encouraging others to do the same and looking out for their mental health too.

Steps to gaining more confidence


Now full disclaimer, I have already said I am not a particularly confident person and I'm not some sort of mental health professional who can really help you sort your life out. These are just tips that I have used to really become happier within myself and have made me more confident in social situations.

1. Stop focusing on the person you should be, and start focusing on the person you are - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.


It sounds obvious, but honestly when you let go of what people and society expect of you and just start doing you and what makes you happy, you will feel a lot better. This is quite a challenge, and as I said earlier, it will take a lot of unlearning of things you knew, but it is vital!

2. Fake it 'til you make it


If you really lack confidence but need it for things like job interviews etc... then really just practice acting confident. You have heard the term practice makes perfect? Just take your time trying to act like a confident person and eventually this will become habitual.

I have been in the process of this lately. one thing that terrifies me is talking on the phone. I will email, text, DM my way out of phone calls any day but as I am adulting, I need to pick up the phone for things more. It still scares me but before each call with someone I don't know, I have a little word with myself like come on you know what you're saying you can do it. 

I've had a similar thing with Imposter Syndrome a lot too, thinking I'm not good enough for things I do or don't have enough followers to be reaching out to a brand to work with them. For this, I just have to think twice and kind of give myself advice that other people would give me. Like, you wouldn't have this job if you weren't qualified for example.

3. Let go of your fear of rejection


Something that stops a lot of people feeling confident is a fear of rejection. This is a scary one because the way to get over a fear of rejection is to expose yourself to it more. Nobody likes rejection, it's human nature, but it shouldn't get in the way of our happiness.

I am watching Love Island at the moment and have seen so many people get rejected on live TV, which some people may think is tragic but it's really not. It's all about how they handle it. If they have been rejected and they take it with pride, like oh well I stayed true to myself that's ok, don't you have a lot more respect for them than if they were to go off on one? So reactions are key!

Another time we can face a lot of rejection is applying for jobs. Honestly, applying for grad jobs after just finishing university in a pandemic was the most I have ever been rejected in my life. Was this because I wasn't capable of doing the job? No. Is this how it made me feel at times? Of course! Then, I did secure a job and remembered how hard it is at the moment and that it is not to do with me.

4. There is only room for uplifting people in your life


In your life, if you put it simply, there are people who make you feel good when you spend time with them, and then there are people who don't. My advice is to only focus on the people who make you feel good. You may even find cutting toxic, negative people out of your life really beneficial and freeing. Each time I have done this, I have been so much happier!

Who you spend your time with is SO important for your mental health, I can't even tell you. There is no room in your life for people who want to put you down or don't want to see you shine. Bin them off. Obviously if possible, some toxic people might be in your workplace or even in your family - tea.

Good friendships are ones with people who want to see you grow. They are happy for your successes, not jealous or trying to put you down. They celebrate you and whatever differences you may have from them and you leave them feeling refreshed, rather than drained.
How has your journey to confidence been going? What advice would you give to your younger self? Also think, what advice would your future self give you right now? Think about your idols and what makes them have the confidence that they do.

TOXIC POSITIVITY: THE LOW DOWN

I am continuing on my blog series called The Low Down. I haven't done a post in this series for a while so if you are new to reading my posts, I basically just write my opinion on things in this post. I've written about things like student housing, friendships and being a fussy eater before, and this time I'm going to be writing about toxic positivity.

long grass by the sea
Image by Nathan Cowley on Pexels.

What is Toxic Positivity?


Before looking into toxic positivity, and hearing a few things about it on social media, I didn't know anything about it. 

"Toxic positivity is the assumption, either by one's self or others, that despite a person's emotional pain or difficult mindset" - Dr Jaime Zuckerman, clinical psychologist in Pennsylvania. Read the full toxic positivity article on healthline.

Toxic positivity has become even more prevalent in the pandemic. How often have you told someone you are having a tough time to be faced with responses like "it could be worse" or "everyone has that" or even "you should feel lucky?" You may have even responded in this way to people.

It supports the rhetoric that we are not allowed to feel sad or in a bad mood and we must try to feel positive and think positively. It's not possible to think positively 24/7 so why, as a society, do we try to push this?

What can we do about Toxic Positivity?


I think it's definitely important first and foremost to recognise toxic positivity. Before reading about it, I wouldn't have even known that it can be harmful to people and a lot of the time, people believe they are helping by trying to make other people think positively.

Obviously, it is great to have a positive mindset and, I'm just saying that it's impossible to expect this from people all the time and if you or your friends are feeling down, it's important to look after yourself and recognise that you are down so you can deal with the emotions, rather than just pushing them away while trying to be positive.

Change your approach


Start with yourself. If you're feeling down then remember that's ok and hopefully you will feel more positive another day - remember to go easy on yourself and treat yourself with kindness. 

As for being there for others, if someone is coming to you with a problem or they are feeling sad, think about how to approach this. Instead of trying to get them to think positively, just tell them you are there for them and it's ok to feel sad now and again. Ultimately, if someone is coming to you with an issue, they will be reassured that you are there for them, there is no need for saying things like "it's ok, you have nothing to be upset about," as we spoke about earlier.

Just to reiterate - positive mindsets are GOOD and it's great if you are mostly positive. However, not everyone has that mindset all the time and it can do more harm than good to try and force people to look on the bright side when they are feeling low.

What are your thoughts on toxic positivity?

FRIENDSHIPS: THE LOW DOWN

Tuesday

This week, I just wanted to talk about friendships because I have seen a lot of people posting about friendships. As the lockdown restrictions ease in the UK and other countries, we are able to see our friends more.

Group of girls on Amsterdam canal boat

Advice on friendships

Lately, I have seen a few people on Twitter saying that they don't have friends which saddens me. I don't know these people, so I'm not sure that's actually the case, but sometimes you can feel like you have no friends, or that you have no one in your corner.

My advice for these people would be to value the people that you actually have in your life, whether that be family or colleagues that you like. I would also say it is never too late to try and make friends! It is a common misconception that you can't make friends as an adult, as it isn't as easy as when you're in school, but this is not the case! If anything, making friends later on is actually easier.

Since I have started blogging regularly, I have interacted with other bloggers online who have similar interests to me. Making online friends is also a good way to connect with people if you are shy in person. Of course, you do need to be careful when making online friends - we have all seen the TV show Catfish.

I also think it is important to remember that you different things out of friendships with different people. For example, you may have a friend that you have a good time with but you can't trust them. If you have friends like this, it's important to know where you stand. If you know they aren't the most trustworthy, then you shouldn't expect them to be trustworthy. There are also the friends that you have a good time with, and you could trust them with your life. I tend to find myself gravitating towards these people and wanting to spend less time with the people who are only fun for a short time.

Group of friends in Leicester Square

Friends getting ready for night out

My friendships

As I get older, I tend to be pickier with who I call my friend. Just because I really believe that no company is better than bad company. I have individual friends who I will meet up with as well as groups of friends and the majority of my friends now are from university. I do still have some amazing friends from home but as I left school and college, I seemed to leave friendships behind there. The same thing could happen after uni too, but I do think most of them will become my friends for life.

One of the main qualities I look for in friendships is when they are happy for my successes and when they build me up. I am always reading posts about how women should empower women and this is definitely true! I'm always looking out for those who do that for me. 

I am really grateful for the friendships I have at the moment. For the friends I see often and the friends who I don't see as much.

What sort of friendships do you have? Mainly close individual friends or do you have a friendship group? Let me know in the comments.

Friends in Dublin

Two friends at a party

More from The Low Down Series:

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Wool of the King

BEING A FUSSY EATER: THE LOW DOWN

Saturday

A while ago I started a series called, The Low Down, where I will just talk about certain topics, giving you 'The Low Down'.


Mussels in garlic sauce with caption

Since I can remember, I have always been a really fussy eater. Quite a lot of kids can be but I never seemed to grow out of it. It would probably be easier to tell you the foods I do like than listing the ones I don't. I basically don't like ANYTHING spicy, I also don't like tea or coffee (big shock alert).

People regularly laugh at my 'boring' taste in food, and I do too, but it is the bane of my life. Something that stands out to me is that I used to avoid going to Nando's because I got plain when everyone else got medium and someone always had something to say about it. "Sorry guys, I can't come tonight, um, I need to wash my hair." I don't really care about things like that anymore it just seems bizarre to me that people have such opinions on food tastes. Incidentally, I have recently graduated to lemon and herb!

I really wish I liked a lot more foods than I do because then I wouldn't have to worry about what we're having for dinner if I go to someone's house, or worry that I'm being really annoying if I say I don't like something. Luckily now, everyone I know knows that I'm a fussy eater so if I go to theirs for dinner, they will make sure it's something I like (love those kinds of people). 

It wasn't always that easy when I was growing up though. It was the absolute WORST when I would go to friends houses for dinner and their mum had made something I didn't like. Because I felt so bad, I would try my hardest to eat it even if I didn't like it. But when it's spicy food, I literally can't even force myself to eat it! Once I remember going to someone's and their parents had made a chilli con carne (one of my top WORST dishes) and I did try to eat it. In the end, I just had to say I'm so sorry, this is too spicy for me. Then, I remember the parents kind of getting slightly annoyed even though they tried not to show it.

I still love food though. Even though I'm quite fussy, I do love the foods that I will eat and I do try new foods to see if I'll like them. What kind of eater are you? Are you fussy or will you eat most things? Everyone has their own preferences, I just wish I liked more things but it's probably good that I don't because I love food too much now anyway.

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Wool of the King



STUDENT HOUSING: THE LOW DOWN


Following on from my Contraception: The Low Down post, in this post I will also be giving you The Low Down about my experience with student housing.

I must begin by saying I am not talking about all student housing, I will be talking about my experience and experiences I have heard from friends in particular. 

University image

At Bournemouth University, where I've been studying, the majority of students tend to live in halls for the first year, and then will move into a house for second year. This may no longer be the case for the majority as they are building more and more halls in and around Bournemouth for second and third years.

In September, me and five other people moved into a student house. Before moving in, we were asked to pay a booking fee in December of £250 followed by a deposit in August of £500 along with the first month's rent which was £420, equalling £920 at once each and £5,520 all together.

After paying the fees, we went to pick up our keys from the estate agents, by whom we were given an attitude that was not the most friendly. We each had individual bedroom keys but we weren't assigned our own, we were told to "work it out for yourselves". 

Arriving at the house, everyone was very eager to pick bedrooms. Before I knew it, I ended up with my bedroom choice, however, in my bedroom was a broken bed.

I called up the letting agency to ask why I was not given a functioning bed and their reply was "it is not our fault" without any apology. We had moved in on the Thursday and they said the bed wouldn't come until the following week. Their reply to me about this was "it's ok, you have a mattress". Yes, I did have a mattress but I wasn't expecting to pay the same deposit and rent money as everyone else to find a broken bed in my room.

Most of my friends have complained about mould in their houses. I've heard about leaky roofs, bedrooms being declared too small to live in by the council, slug infestations (gross). You name it.

We finally moved out of our student house in August after countless things going wrong and we got our deposit back 2 days ago, 2 months later. It's a good job I wasn't counting on that money because I got less than half of it back, and I got the most back out of everybody. Our reports back said that things were broken that hadn't been broken and "routine cleaning" that we were never made aware of.

I'd like to reiterate that not all student houses are bad and not all housing companies treat you without respect. This is more of a warning to be careful and to raise awareness of how you can be treated sometimes because of age or because you're a student.

Thank you for reading, sorry this was a bit more angry than normal, I just don't agree with how unfair it can be at times. Let me know if you have any student housing horror stories in the comments.

Over and out x

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CONTRACEPTION: THE LOW DOWN

Tuesday

I asked on Instagram and Twitter for people's experiences with different types of contraception and I got more responses than expected. The amount of responses I got shows me that it is something a lot of people, mainly women do want to talk about as it affects people so differently and these affects can often be quite negative.

The contraceptive pill

Here are some examples of the responses I received from women currently using contraception, I won't be using names:

"The implant gave me a month long period."
"Mood swings on the first pill now I have changed I feel fine."
"Rigevidon made me feel really down and angry."
"The pill made me put on sooo much weight and became so spotty until I came off it."
"The pill made me feel depressed."
"The pill made me feel like I was so down and alone, I also gained weight, skin was horrible."
"The injection f*cked me up, I got super depressed. I stopped doing things and stopped going into college. Never again"
"I've had a bad experience on so many pills including Yasmin, Microgynon, Cerelle. Problems included weight gain, nausea, the worst skin and pain. I hate the pill."
"The pill is amazing for me but I had the worst mental health and doctors wouldn't take me off it because it was 'too soon', they told me to give it a chance."

The main purpose of this post is to make people think about how important it is to find the right contraception for you or your partner because there are so many horrible side affects as you can see from the responses above.

Firstly, I need to emphasise that everyone is affected differently by different forms of contraception and by no means should anyone be scared off it by this post. I am just trying to educate people on possible side affects so that people make sure they get what is right for them. There are so many different types of contraception that I didn't even know about. Researching this has been a learning curve for me too.

I didn't really have sex education at my school after the age of 12, and then it was about periods and stuff rather than being safe with sex. When we did learn about it at school we just learnt about condoms which are obviously a good form of contraception as they also protect against STI's but they are not the only form of contraception out there.

If you are like me and the thought of an injection, implant or coil really cringes you out then there are lots of different types of pills that do different things to your hormones and have different amounts of hormones in them.

Due to the amount of negative responses about contraception side affects, it seems to me like women have to go through a trial and error process before they find a good contraceptive that suits them. In my opinion, doctors should be doing more to make sure pills and other contraceptives aren't harming people.

In my experience, they gave me 3 months worth of pills to start with before checking my blood pressure again and prescribing me another 3 months worth of pills at the end. Now, they give me 6 months worth at a time and will only give me a pill check every 12 months where they will check my blood pressure again. They have never once asked me about my mental health and the pill and other contraceptives have seemed to have affected the mental health of a number of women.

One of the responses above, refers to the implant and mental health. She said she had told the doctors she didn't want the implant anymore as she knew it affected her mental health in a negative way. The doctors thought it was too soon, seemingly ignoring her request and disregarding the severity of the effect it was having on her mental health.

People using words such as "depression" when it comes to contraception just goes to show the severity of the effect it can have on mental health. In extreme cases, it could possibly make girls and women feel suicidal. If there is a chance that this could happen, isn't asking how your mental health is in on a pill check the least doctors could do? I am not saying no doctors ask, I am just basing this on my own experience and those of my followers.

It is also important that men understand the possible side affects women could be facing just to sleep with them. It's important to spot differences in women's mental health and attitudes in case they are being affected by contraception. It's also important to support them through the decisions they make about contraception as these decisions often concern men too.

My advice would be make sure you research contraception before you decide what would be best for you. If you do hear bad things about certain types, remember that it might not be the same for you as all types of contraception affects people differently. It is all about what suits you. Finally, don't put sex before your mental health.

TERROR ATTACK ON ARIANA GRANDE CONCERT

Wednesday


After hearing about Monday night's terror attack on an Ariana Grande concert in Manchester, I was truly devastated. A venue holding around 21,000 people including many children and teenagers was thought to be the "perfect" place to commit an act of pure evil. Among the 22 people that have passed away so far, approximately 12 of them were children. An 8 year old girl was killed, ruining the lives of people close to her and for what? An 18 year old girl, the same age as me, doing A levels, just as I am, was killed in this brutal terror attack; and what had these innocent people done except go and see one of their favourite artists in concert? For a lot of people, this was their first concert and many had been looking forward to it for months. A concert should be remembered for the music and pleasure you feel from watching and listening to your artists, not for fear and tragedy. 

Ariana Grande singing live

Despite the horrendous actions of Monday night in Manchester, there are a handful of people who are not showing sympathy for the people affected by the incident. For example, The Daily Mail has attempted to blame Ariana's choice of clothing for the terrorism. Other than being the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard, it is also disrespectful to the 23 year old artist who is traumatised by the terror attack upon her concert on Monday. The star tweeted "broken. from the bottom of my heart, I am so so sorry. I don't have words", apologising for what had happened even though none of it was her fault, it was the fault of an extremist, sadistic group motivated by evil and ignorance. No one deserves to go to a concert to not come back, end up severely injured or fear for their lives. This was nothing other than a brutal attack on innocent people. Ariana Grande has offered to pay for the funerals of those who lost their lives to this tragic incident. How can anyone blame somebody who is willing to show this generosity?

However, this radical attempt at dividing Britain has failed because Manchester, and the United Kingdom are stronger than ever and there is so much support being spread through the communities. Support has been shown not just by the British people but from people all over the world. Unfortunately, I have never been to Manchester but the sense of community there that I have seen on the news is unreal, especially at yesterday's vigil. This just goes to show that nothing is going to break Britain no matter how many attempts of terror there are and the support in Manchester recently such as taxi drivers taking people home, hotels giving those targeted a place to stay and even homeless people helping the wounded makes me amongst many others, proud to be British.

Thank you so much for reading. RIP to the beautiful 22 whose lives were taken from them too soon. 

Manchester vigil for Ariana Grande terrorist attack