BEING IN YOUR 20s: THE LOW DOWN

Welcome to another post in my 'The Low Down' series where I chat about important things. You can read the other posts in the series here.

What is it really like for me being in my 20s? 

What is it really like to be in your 20s? So far, I feel like it is THE decade of comparison. When you're a teenager, you do compare yourself to others but everyone is kind of in the same boat at school or college.

For me, after finishing uni was when the feeling of comparison really started. I compare my job to those of other graduates and I compare my life to those who appear to be way more 'adult' than I do. 

In the back of my mind, I know it is irrational to compare myself to others as we are all on different paths and want different things in life, and when I don't compare myself to others, I am pretty happy with how things have turned out for me so far.

When you imagine being in your 20s when you're younger, what you think it's going to be like and what it is like are two very different things, and this is touched upon further in the post too.

I didn't only want to share my thoughts in this post, but I wanted to share what it is also like for other people I know in their 20s too.

It was especially weird for me to spend the first couple of years of my 20s in the middle of a pandemic, it felt like there was pressure to go out and have fun, meanwhile, we couldn't do anything like that for a long while.

Not being able to do so many things that I wanted to do has just made me eager to make more memories, and makes me cherish the memories I already have. I am not going to stress too much about things because I feel like I have the rest of my life for things like that.

It does feel weird seeing people my age all at such different stages of their lives but their lives really have nothing to do with me. I feel like this new chapter in my life is for self-love, focusing on what I love doing and making lasting memories with the people who mean the most to me. Everything else will fall into place when it needs to.

Now, please take the time to read what it has been like for my friends in their 20s so far.

What is it like for others in their 20s?

Cheyenne Waters, 22

When I thought about starting my career in my 20s, I thought it would be easy. I thought things would be an easy relaxation into my future, but I soon found out that's not the case. There are lots of ups and downs and feeling like you're not doing enough or maybe doing too much, mixed with a constant fear that you're not living your 20s and enjoying being young.

For me, there was a constant fear after leaving university that I would need to be the most successful, making the most money, and achieving the most exciting job roles. However, I have found what I actually value most at the moment is my own time and finding myself in a busy city. 

I have found that sometimes, I prioritise my career over my own personal development and finding balance between the two is very important. I believe that my 20s is a time for self-expression and finding what you need in the future, and my advice would be to live in the moment rather than to focus too much on the future and your career as that is not the be all and end all.

Related: My journey to confidence - the low down

Maike Meyer, 24

Being in your twenties is a bit of a rollercoaster. The start of my twenties I spent mostly at Uni, a year in Amsterdam and half a year as a graduate working from home. I have lived in 3 different countries and 4 different places in the past half-year alone and that speaks for itself I think. Your twenties are full of change. New things happen all the time, things that throw you off guard. 

People come and go and I think in your twenties, you really figure out and learn who your real friends are because, let's be honest, University is just a happy little bubble but what comes after actually makes you realise who wants to stay in your life and who doesn't. 

My 20s have also consisted of a lot of my friends either going through breakups, getting engaged, married or having kids! Some even buy a house, move in with their partner, or out. But it seem's that change is constantly happening to me and everyone around me. 

So far, my 20s have taught me a lot, I have also experienced a lot, been through a lot of challenges and somehow, come through some of the most difficult ones of them. I think your 20s really might potentially have a massive impact on who you are later because of all this new stuff that is thrown at you.

But honestly, my 20s so far have been the very best time of my life and I'd say you just have to ride with whatever happens because it's all meant to be!

Maddie Cox, 23

I'm coming dangerously close to being officially in my 'mid 20s', which is a terrifying thought. Your 20s are such a significant chunk of your development. Your early adulthood molds you, pointing you toward the direction of your life.

Each year of being in my 20s has taught me something different, and some of the lessons can unfortunately only be learned the hard way (the crying to strangers in club toilets type of lessons). At times, it's been nauseatingly overwhelming. New people, places, losses, and gains happening more rapidly than you could've believed. But at other times, it's been the closest I have felt to being alive, present, and content within the world.

The only encouragement I could give someone heading into their 20s is to try and squeeze as much out of it as you possibly can. Take that risk, wear that outfit, move far away, do something stupid, stay up too late. Whatever it is, try and avoid being 'comfortable'. Comfort is the enemy of growth.

You have all the time in the world to stay in one place and be comfortable. Be selfish, think about what you want, and chase it with everything you have. At times it'll be scary, but it will be the most rewarding thing you ever do. - Good luck out there x

Annie Knight, 24

I feel like your 20’s are different for everyone, but are always a mix of some of the best years of your life and the worst. When I was little, I used to picture myself getting married at 22, buying a house at 24, and having kids at 25… obviously I thought 20-year-olds were much older than I feel now. In fact, I’m extremely far off of all of those things whilst others are less so.

My early twenties were full of youth, but now at 24, I feel stuck between continuing this life and embracing my youth in a big city and settling down in the countryside with a dog and a 4 wheel drive. I don’t think either is right or wrong, but navigating through this time is pretty tricky. But maybe that’s what being in your mid-20s is about - being confused and becoming ok with not knowing what you want from life…finding excitement in not knowing what the future holds.

Related: Friendships: The low down

Tash Evans, 22

I think being in your 20s can be a strange and confusing period of time but also one that should be filled with fun. I need to both figure out what to do with the rest of my life and give myself the time to actually just live my life and have fun. 

Having just graduated from university, there is pressure to know exactly what your next step is going to be. However, right now I'm taking the time to see where life takes me and really think about what I want to do next. A big thing for me is I want to have fun and try new things and experiences whilst I can. 

Your 20s is often a time where you don't have a huge level of responsibility and commitment and I want to make the most of that. I think my 20s will be a decade of balance. Learning and discovering myself and which direction I want my life to go in and I also want to look back on them as a time where I had fun and made a load of memories!

Tash's blog - A Girl With a View

Jasmine Burke, 24

I have always been a planner. I had a five-year plan from the age of about 15, and I would readjust it every few years based on my current trajectory. Then, I started University, and it took one singular semester for me to realise that I didn’t want a life like anything I’d planned. As a result, my descent into my twenties was the first time in my life that I had jumped in without any idea of where it would take me. (Which, given the last two years we’ve had, I suppose has been a good thing… There’s really been no better time to go with the flow.) 

I’m now four years into my twenties and it has been a strange and heavy mixture of tears from lonely moments, stress from essay deadlines, coffee stains from my stint as a part-time barista… The list goes on. 

The first four years of my twenties have blended into this weird mess of (admittedly, mostly negative at the beginning) thoughts and emotions that have forced me to really take a look at myself and think about who I am going to be moving forward. This is the first time in my life where I have been a “proper adult” where my decisions and my current state could stick with me into the future. 

I don’t have school anymore, I’m out of Uni, and while I still live with my parents, they aren’t legally in charge of me. For the first time ever, I am almost solely responsible for what I do and who I become. And, daunting as that is, it is also scarily liberating. I’m excited to see how I mould and change through my twenties: I want to relish in the decisions that I make and be sculpted by the people I meet and experiences I undertake. I feel like my twenties are a time for growth and change, and I am readily opening my arms to that.

Jasmine's Blog - Jas Writes Stuff

And there we have it. Being in your 20s is definitely a time for learning, making mistakes and just having fun.

Related: Being a nice person - the low down

Was there a particular story from someone that resonated with you?